Summer hinted that she was coming to a close when my daughter had Kindergarten Jump Start a few weeks ago. Then again, when it should have felt really real, my son started 2nd Grade this past week. Monday, both of my kids will be in a school that does not take place in our living room for the first time in over eighteen months. If I'm honest, I feel unready to move on because I'm still processing these past two years. However, time waits for no one, so I'm feeling the need to look back on this past year and a half. To pause long enough to feel the feels. To recognize that this last season was long and hard. To give space to the losses and acknowledge with gratitude all the ways that my life is now immeasurably richer. To not apologize for being unable to jump into this next season with unabated enthusiasm but to simply be where I am.
Some may have called it unwise to have a baby and also plan to homeschool your two older kids in the same year, which also happened to take place during a world wide pandemic. I, on the other hand, will forever be thankful that I had, for perhaps the only time, all of my babies home with me and together. I watched Everett and Cora truly become best friends. I watched both of them step into the role of having a baby sister. It came so naturally for each of them and amidst all of the unknowns this past year...this, this becoming a family of five, and having Everett and Cora home each day to navigate this transition will remain one of my biggest blessings in the midst of a very hard year. I also have stumbled my way through remembering what being a mom to a newborn is like. I'm glad that they got to witness that too, even on the hard days. All of us collectively and individually stepped into roles we didn't see for ourselves and I think we are coming out the better for it. I hope that even on the worst of days (and there were plenty of those), my kids felt held and loved. I hope that they know that there's room enough for their imperfections, and I hope that enables them to walk through life with grace and acceptance for others as well.
So here's to the last eighteen months. All and all, you were good to us. Did we have school each school day? No way. Did we learn a lot and grow and become? We sure did. After our homeschool year, I set out to make this summer spectacular for our kids. Did I do that? Sure didn't. I quickly realized that I didn't want spectacular after a pretty extraordinary year...I really just wanted ordinary. I refuse to carry shame about that. Our summer was over-the-top in the ordinary department. I know for sure that I am walking into this new school year with expectancy, a healthy dose of skepticism and with grit- the kind that you receive after a hard year, and also with a heart that is overflowing with unceasing gratitude.